This article was originally published on OpossumSauce
Always Check the Toilet Paper Roll
We don't want to throw any unwarranted shade, but we truly believe that this is what living in Australia must be like. You wake up, go to brush your teeth, find a spider in your toothbrush; you get changed, put on your socks, you find a spider in your shoe; you make yourself something to eat, and what do you know, you're eating a spider. Seriously, these guys are everywhere there.
Okay, maybe that's just going a bit too far. There aren't that many spiders in Australia. There can't be, right? Either way, after seeing this photo, we'll be checking our toilet paper for spiders regularly.
"Yeah, I Know a Shortcut"
There's always that one friend that will drag you through the most horrifying alleyways, nightmarish sidewalks, deadly and torn-up scaffoldings, and steep dirt paths on your way to some random destination. The friend who always needs reminding that we don't need to crawl through prehistoric caves and tip-toe around serial killer tunnels (like the one below) just to get to the store to buy some milk. All those death-defying shortcuts make us feel like we're in a horror flick.
This is one of those tunnels that probably have no exit, either. No need for one. Nobody's going to come out of there safe and sound anyhow.
We're Just Happy They're Fighting Each Other and Not Us
It's a good thing these two monstrous beings are busy battling each other to the death while barely hanging on to some spider webs, or else we'd be gone for. Just look at them. Think this spider and snake are scared of us puny humans? No, they could take us in their sleep. These predatory creatures were made to fight, and we've grown soft and comfy in our comfortable urban apartments.
These two critters look so horrifyingly deadly that you wouldn't be blamed for thinking that they weren't even real. That kind of terror can only be produced by CGI, or can it?
The Tables Have Turned
The circle of life. The hunter has become the hunted. What else can explain this chicken tender that has apparently sprouted teeth and developed bloodthirsty carnivorous instincts? What if this is all just the next stage in the inevitable process of chicken evolution? Don't take it too hard; it isn't personal - it's just survival of the fittest. It looks like the chickens of the world are fighting back.
Okay, jokes aside, what happened to this chicken tender? Just staring at it is making us want to go vegetarian.
New York City Apartments Nowadays Are Like:
The world is gradually getting more expensive. A dollar just isn't what it was a few decades ago, and that isn't just because of inflation. So while we settle for apartments sporting horrible living conditions, we can always take comfort in the fact that we aren't living in this room photographed right here. This mold-filled ceiling and ceiling fan will make us feel better as our landlord raises the rent again next month.
Some places just aren't meant for living. For humans, that is. This room probably could be perfect for a family of raccoons or roaches or something. Humans, however, not so much.
People: There Are Plenty of Fish in the Sea. The Fish:
Nothing quite screams summer more than a road trip with some of your favorite people in the world to a tranquil lake out there in the countryside. The problem is, what if that lake is infested and teeming with deadly sea creatures? Suddenly, your serene vacation spot seems more like a nightmare trap straight from hell. Seriously, we wouldn't swim around that big fish no matter how much somebody offered to pay us.
What even is that thing, anyway? Is it a shark? An alligator? A crocodile? What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? Creatures of the water raise so many questions.
Why Would Anybody Name Their Pizzeria That
So picture this: you somehow manage to raise enough money to open up your own business. Congratulations! You're on your way to financial independence! So you decide you're going to open up a pizza place because you made some for your friends that one time and who doesn't love pizza? Great. You go through the bureaucratic nightmare that is opening up your own business, and then you go ahead and ruin everything with just one word.
How do you ruin it, you ask? Well, you name your pizzeria Herpes Pizza, just like these people did. Why would anybody do that to themselves? Who would grab a slice at Herpes Pizza?
New Blanket Technology Just Dropped
Our first thought when seeing this photo: No thanks. We don't want this. This is one of those things that could terrify us to the very core just by looking at it. How did this poor woman keep her calm while those menacing, slimy snakes slithered and hissed all over her body? We wouldn't put ourselves through something like this. Not even for a million dollars. Okay, maybe a million dollars would be enough for us to do this.
But we're pretty sure that a hefty portion of that sum would be spent on a lifetime of therapy just to come to terms with the experience. Snakes are mortifying.
Weren't You in a Pineapple Under the Sea?
This does not look like the Spongebob we've come to know and love. No, this is some kind of sinister version of him. Who are you, Spongebob impostor, and what did you do with our beloved, fun-loving, goofy protagonist? He would have never stalked us in a sinister-looking room such as this. We can all agree that's not how the number one cartoon character who lives underwater does things.
Seriously though, the people who made this shot happen definitely have an eye for horror situations. There's nothing scarier than a beloved childhood figure turning into something straight out of a nightmare.
Makes You Wonder How They Keep the Other Pool Clean
Sure, it seems like the pool on the left is innocent, especially compared to the disgusting one on the right. But things often aren't as they seem. We can't imagine that the clean-looking pool could be located so close to that disgusting, filth-covered swimming pool and not get some of its toxins. Doesn't the wind carry at least some of the gross stuff from one pool to the other?
All that to say that we wouldn't recommend going for a swim in either of these pools. Anyone who would let the water get to this condition should not be trusted.
Too Soon, Pizza Hut. Too Soon
Whoever said any publicity is good publicity never heard of a pizza delivery person getting murdered. Can you imagine sitting on your couch, watching a piece about Pizza Hut needing new employees while at the bottom of your screen you see the words, "Pizza delivery murder?" Yeah, we don't think anyone ran to sign up for the job after this happened. And if someone did, they should probably have a background check done.
We know delivering pizza isn't the best job in the world, but it really isn't that bad either. That is until you end up delivering pizza to a sociopathic murderer.
A Great Day to Stay Indoors
What's that, you say? A swarm of bees has taken over the balcony? Oh, then we'll just stay indoors today. Or forever because unless those things move by themselves, that's where they're staying. This is one of those situations where you may just be better off moving to a different apartment. It would probably be easier and less harmful than dealing with the deadly swarm of insects in the photo.
We can only hope that this kind of insect swarming is a local phenomenon that happens only in certain areas. If this thing were to happen worldwide, that could signal the end of life as we know it.
An Image Right Out of a Horror Film
We wouldn't go night swimming in these waters. We probably wouldn't go day swimming in these waters, either, after seeing the kind of blood-thirsty sharks that live here. Is that even a shark? Truth be told, that deep-sea monster looks like something else entirely. Something about its face doesn't sit right with us, and believe us, we've seen quite a few horrifying deep-sea creatures in our day. This one might be the scariest of them all.
This is like the even scarier version of Jaws. Steven Spielberg should definitely cast this monstrous being for the Jaws sequel; he'll make a killing just off of this guy alone.
Who Said Movies Don't Make Us Smarter
If the logs on the back of that truck were to fall out, it could've been a horrible tragedy that impacted many people's lives. Thankfully, these drivers binge-watched a few horror movies where that exact scene played out and knew better than standing behind that pick-up. They all chose the safe option and switched to a completely different lane. A smart move, if we do say so ourselves. Some people may call this overly careful or maybe even a bit superstitious.
And yet, it's definitely better to be safe than sorry in these kinds of horror movie situations. Some of us have just seen way too much to remain totally unphased in such situations.
Yeah, That Wasn't Ice
This is one of those photographs that can create a fear of swallowing things that have no business being in your mouth. The truth is that the chances of somebody actually swallowing a spider through a straw are slim to none. But that won't stop our imaginations from running wild! After seeing this photo, we'll be imagining this exact scenario every time we see a straw for months to come.
And even as we obsessively check every straw we use, we'll imagine a tiny spider in our throats each time we swallow a small piece of ice.
When Your Toothbrush Has a Few Extra Bristles
Okay, this is like the worst situation we could ever imagine. If we were asked to picture the grossest thing that could ever realistically happen to us, it would be brushing our teeth with the antennas of some kind of creepy, disgusting insect. And it actually happened to this person, which is horrible because that means it could happen to us. Yeah, we're going to spray our entire bathroom with some roach poison or something.
On the other hand, maybe this means we're safe. Like, what are the chances that something as horrible as this happening yet again? Yeah, pretty slim. It looks like we're safe.
A Massage You Pay for With Your Life
A massage is definitely an intimate experience. Not only are you letting somebody touch your body, but you also have to feel comfortable enough to just completely relax as you take it all in. It's not as simple as it might sound. That's why we would never even consider going into this suspicious and shady-looking place for a massage. Who knows what lies in wait behind that ominous, grey door. Nope, we're going the other way.
Also, couldn't they find something a bit less suspicious to offer random bystanders than a massage? How about something that doesn't involve one lying vulnerably on a table, partially undressed?
We'll Just Hold It In For a Bit
This is one of those situations we've pretty much all been through. Picture this: you're cruising with your friends on a long road trip, desperately searching for an exit of some sort to relieve yourself, only to find out that the only bathroom in your vicinity is a bug-infested gas station toilet. Yeah, if that were us, we'd probably prefer just betting on the next restroom. Honestly, we'd even prefer wetting ourselves.
What even are those things swarming around the toilet seat? Also, what's that long piece of toilet paper doing there, just hanging off the toilet seat? When was the last time this toilet was cleaned?
The Most Unsettling Halloween Costume of All Time
No, no, no. This is going above and beyond. Sure, people have started taking all those Halloween parties pretty seriously lately, but this is just going too far for our tastes. This is something straight out of a horror film. We're not sure what that's even meant to be. Maybe some sort of creepy doll who happens to be holding another smaller and even creepier doll? We have so many questions about this costume.
We're not sure how that person in the Hawaiin shirt managed to muster up a smile when confronted with that mortifying monstrosity, but we would have made a break for it the second it caught our gaze.
The Little Guy Just Wants Some Shelter
One can only imagine the long and treacherous road this scary-looking critter had to travel in order for this photograph to be taken. Where did he come from? A river? Also, out of all the places that could have potentially provided him shelter, this crocodile chose to chill under a car seemingly parked in a parking lot. Yeah, this animal definitely needs some adjusting to the big city life.
If this croc wants to survive in the city, he's going to need to pick up a few street smarts on the way. For instance, not to hide under automobiles.
You Might Want to Find a Different Exit Route
We have so many questions about this photo. First of all, why are there two exit signs - one on the floor and one above the door? Second of all, what happened to the door? Not only is it completely frozen over, but it also looks like some ice monster has been scratching at it. And yet, what's even more frightening about this picture may just be the unimaginable terrors waiting behind that door.
Just look at that door. The whole doorframe is frozen shut while the exit sign is about to fall out of its place. The blizzard going on outside definitely has a supernatural vibe to it.
Why Would Anybody Buy This?
Ahh, yes. The Filet of Nightmare. Why, you ask, would anybody sane purchase this culinary horror with his own hard-earned cash? Well, that's just one of those unanswerable questions we'll have to either completely forego or spend our whole lives trying to answer. We're not even sure what the heck this filet is or what it's made of, let alone why anybody would buy it or what it could possibly taste like.
On the other hand, one can't help but applaud the brave chef who dared to push his culinary dreams (or should we say nightmares) and make them a reality. Good on you, sir.
Those Who Know, Know
To some people, this is just a case of juvenile vandalism. Five Guys, One Cup? Nothing to see here, for better and for worse. Yet, for others, this spells disaster. We're just sure some people walked by this sign with the added graffiti and were struck by vivid flashbacks of a certain video they had hoped to forget completely. Alas, to no avail. Good luck eating a burger with those memories running at the back of your head.
This Five Guys may just not be able to recover from this one. Our brains have forever linked this joint with the horrifying memory of a certain scene we'd be better off forgetting.
The More We Read the Worse It Got
This sign just gets even more menacing with every word. It starts off plain enough: Beware. Okay, we can beware. We've been told to beware before. Nothing new here. Then, the next word: Tiger. Oh, no. A tiger? That's bad. We don't want to mess with tigers. But then the sign throws a curveball at the reader. It's actually talking about a tiger snake! Who saw that coming? Not us.
Then, finally, when things couldn't possibly get any worse, the sign delivers: It's a breeding ground. Yup, the tiger snakes are breeding in there. That's more than terrifying. That's nightmarish.
Freshly Squeezed
There is no better way to start the morning than a cup of freshly squeezed organic human juice. Yup, it really is, as they say: a bottle of human juice a day is sure to keep the doctor away. Now, we're sure this is all some kind of misunderstanding and that this supermarket isn't practicing and condoning cannibalism in broad daylight. Still, we can't, for the life of us, figure out what they initially tried to spell out.
Like, what word would you try to spell and then accidentally spell out the word "human" instead? This isn't just some common typo. Something quite mysterious and unexplainable happened here.
Just Caught Dinner
We imagine that this is what people from Australia eat every night. Either that or some weird koala-type creature meat. We're not sure why, though. On a completely unrelated note, we're pretty sure that there's probably some Michelin star restaurant out there somewhere that's serving these huge roaches as an appetizer of some sorts on their official tasting menu. Guess it's as they say: one man's trash is another's treasure.
Not us, though. We wouldn't be caught dead eating one of those things. Roaches are just one of those creatures meant to be kept at arm's length from humans. Scratch that, make it like five arms' length.
Just Found This Cool Log
Hey, check out this log. Wow, that's such a cool log. Definitely nothing suspicious or creepy or life-threatening or nightmarish about it. Nope, this is just a cool, run-of-the-mill log that you could find in your backyard, except for that huge spider thing at the edge of the log. Yeah, forget about that hideous creature. You should just ignore that thing and focus on the cool log. Isn't it neat?
We recognize that some people aren't as afraid of spiders as others, but we never knew somebody could be as calm and collected as the person holding the log. Isn't he scared?
May the Lord Have Mercy on Our Souls
There are not many things on this Earth scarier than deformed insects which have, by some trick of satan we suppose, grown several times larger than their original size. This is one of those photographs that we sincerely hope never to see again, and we can only hope that we all but forget that this hideous beast ever existed. We're just happy we didn't encounter ourselves in reality and that we're safe behind our computer screens.
Where is that thing anyway? It looks as though it's just chilling on some wool or something. There's a homey vibe to this photograph, and we don't like that one bit.
What's Wrong? The Water's Fine
People in Florida are like, Hey, let's go swimming! It'll be great. Then you go with them only to find out that they took you to a shark-infested beach that was pretty much the location that inspired Jaws, and they see absolutely nothing wrong with that. Seriously, we are not quite sure why, but people have been getting comfortable around sharks lately. We may need another Jaws movie to trigger our collective shark anxiety once more.
Maybe the sharks of the world banded together and hired themselves a new PR team. We have been hearing quite a lot of shark advocacy recently. Maybe they're up to something.
This Just in: Bananas Are Cancelled
Yeah, we're never buying a banana ever again, and we sincerely hope that you follow our lead in our banana boycott. It'll be a shame to forego one of the world's most delicious and nutritious fruit, but we can't risk having lethal spiders sprouting out of it for absolutely no reason. No, no chance at all. We're going to stick to apples from now on. This is the new wave.
Now, what are the chances of this actually happening to one of us or someone we know in reality? Not very high. Does that make this photo any less terrifying? No.
The Advancement of Modern Technology Is Astounding
Yeah, when people back in the day imagined the future, we're pretty sure this photo right here might've been the last thing on their minds. They might have imagined jetpacks, flying cars, teleportation, and whatnot, but we get infested cable boxes. It just goes to show you how things do not always go as expected. We would probably just move out if we were to find this horrifying sight in our houses.
How could this even happen? What kind of bizarre chain of events had to occur for this nightmarish sight to take shape? We don't know who it was, but somebody screwed up big time.
Nothing Like a Refreshing Cup of Joe To Start the Day
Yeah, nothing to see here. Just an ordinary cup of coffee, no different than the one you or we could have drank earlier today. Except for that huge spider swimming in the middle of it. Yeah, ignore that guy. This is pretty much one of those things that nobody thinks could ever happen to them, and usually, they're right. But then, it happens to somebody, some poor, unlucky, unsuspecting person.
We wonder if the person who drank this cup of coffee noticed something wasn't right with it before he spotted the spider. We can only hope that he did and immediately stopped drinking it.
This Is Why Deep Sea Creatures Should Remain Undiscovered
The ocean is incredibly vast. So vast, in fact, that scientists believe there are countless deep-sea creatures still undiscovered, just waiting to make headlines in the scientific community. Some of these creatures, many scientists believe, are huge underwater giants boasting bodies bigger than the average human. So, that's precisely what we mean when we say that those deep-sea creatures are better left undiscovered. Why would we want to expose them?
No reason. No reason at all. Like, why would we want to deal with more monstrosities like that thing these guys managed to catch? We're talking about creatures that haven't changed since the dawn of Earth.
Let's See Formula One Drivers Handle These Driving Conditions If They're Really All That
We're not sure what those terrifying little creatures covering the car are (locusts maybe?), but we do know that we would like to politely ask them to stay away from us and our automobiles forever if that isn't too much to ask. We're not sure how this driver managed to get himself in such a difficult and, quite frankly, disgusting situation. Hopefully, they managed to get out of there unscathed.
Driving through a completely flooded landscape? Bugs attacking every square inch of your vehicle? Yeah, this is pretty much the worst-case scenario. It's how we imagined the apocalypse to be.
This Looks Perfectly Safe
Free cuddles? Say less. We're definitely going to crawl into that pitch-black tunnel that doesn't seem ominous at all. We are willing to bet that this thing doesn't have an exit on the other side. There's no need since probably every single person that came in the one way never came out. Never trust dark caves that promise you free things, especially if they offer free cuddles. That's way beyond suspicious.
On a completely different note, this does kind of remind us of something out of Looney Tunes. Maybe a Roadrunner prank of some sort? Either way, we're staying the heck away.
Mountain Range Traffic Jams Are Something Else
We've all been through our fair share of urban, city traffic jams. Pretty much every major city has them nowadays, and even some of the smaller, more off-the-beaten-path towns can get them from time to time. Most people, however, haven't had the experience of getting stuck in a traffic jam composed entirely of range animals, such as sheep and goats. Those kinds of traffic jams are exclusive to mountain ranges and other remote locations.
Now, while they can seem daunting and, at times, dangerous, they are more interesting than your run-of-the-mill traffic jam. We know we'd prefer looking at a bunch of goats than a neverending line of almost identical cars.
He's Just Lying There, Waiting, Stalking
This is just another reason always to check the toilet seat whenever you're in a public bathroom or a restroom whose sanitary conditions are dubious at best. If you do check, you're usually bound to find something disgusting. However, this time, somebody found something much worse than a disgusting thing - he found something both deadly and disgusting. We're not even sure if this snake's more lethal than he is gross or if it's the other way around.
Out of all the places this snake could've chosen to reside in, why on Earth did he choose the inside of a toilet seat? Seriously, that's just plain wrong in our minds.
Cool We Weren't Planning on Sleeping Tonight
Oh dear heavens. This is horrifying. Mortifying, even. We can barely even bring ourselves to ask: What is that? Why does it look like that? And, worst of all, what is it doing? The way it twirls in and out of the spaces between that poor person's fingers is nothing short of repulsive. How could he keep himself calm enough to take a photo of this thing having its way with his hand?
If that were us, we'd probably just chuck that thing in any direction as hard as we could the moment we felt its disgusting, contorting body around our delicate fingers.
Haven't These Guys Seen the Matrix?
So, maybe haphazardly creating a bunch of ultra-intelligent artificial bits of intelligence isn't that great of an idea after all. Then again, who knows. It's not like there's an entire genre of science fiction that's dedicated to the possible dystopian outcomes of an AI-infested future. Oh, wait, there is? And they're actually pretty convincing? Uh oh. Maybe we should just let our AI stick to being good at chess or something.
Or we could just go with the flow and see what happens after we teach these things everything about us. Hey, maybe living in a people zoo will be pretty fun after all.
Frankenstein's Ponytail - It's Alive
It's... it's alive! That thing has got to have a mind of its own. Heck, it might have a whole ecosystem of living things nestled inside it. There's no telling, and we'll never know, given that nobody would ever dare get close enough to that ponytail in order to check. In fact, we're willing to bet that even the guy who's rocking that haircut's checked in on the state of his ponytail.
This does beg the question, though: is this man happy with his huge ponytail? Does he consider his hair some sort of achievement? We're not sure, and we'll never find out.